


Even The Strongest Man In Irondeep Has Bad Days

by OmnipotentWombat



Category: NADDPOD - Fandom, Not Another D&D Podcast
Genre: Band of Boobs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Familial - Freeform, Familial Band of Boobs, Found Family, Hardwon needs a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Other, SPOILERS for the frostwind arc, Two Crew, maternal, one big bed, paternal, platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 03:56:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17974007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OmnipotentWombat/pseuds/OmnipotentWombat
Summary: "Hardwon would never admit it- not even to himself- but during that period between leaving the dwarfanage and meeting the rest of his party, he was really lonely."Hardwon grapples with being alone... and then with not being alone.Band of Boob feelings, cuddles and comfort





	Even The Strongest Man In Irondeep Has Bad Days

Hardwon would never admit it- not even to himself- but during that period between leaving the dwarfanage and meeting the rest of his party, he was really lonely. He’d been lonely before, of course; he didn’t have parents, after all. But for the first time in his life, he was actually, physically,  _ alone.  _ As he stepped out of the dwarfanage as an adult, he felt liberated. He was a man, his  _ own  _ man! He could do whatever he wanted - no bonds, no obligations, just him and all of Behumia, a whole world just waiting for Hardwon to save it and achieve glory, to earn the aliases he’d given himself. 

But all those things turned sour pretty quickly. He was alone, and everything seemed so quiet. He was so used to the sound of the other dwarfans roughhousing and screwing around, even the sounds of Behumia’s cities weren’t enough to drown out the aching silence in his mind. Even though the places he travelled through were warmer than Irondeep, Hardwon felt so cold at night. He was excited to have his own bed, since at the dwarfanage they all had to pile onto the same few beds, so close and packed together that it was impossible to have any personal space. But now he’d lay in bed at night, piling blankets over himself so that when he pulled them all the way up to his chin, there was a weight to them, grounding him to the mattress and making him feel a little less alone. He really  _ was _ alone, he realized. He had  _ no  _ bonds, no one to miss but Gemma… who’d probably already stopped caring for him by now. And then the worst realization- he had no one to miss  _ him.  _ If he died… who would care? Who would mourn the self-titled “Bastard of the Mountain, Pride of the Dwarfanage?” No one, he concluded. No One Would. 

He’d never admit it, not even to himself, but his heart leapt at the thought of sharing a bed with his two new friends. It was a relief to have an extra pair of beating hearts beside him as he drifted off to sleep, with Bev radiating warmth like a space heater. As this arrangement became routine, they developed routines within it. Bev usually slept in between his two scout masters, feeling safe in with the two strong adults who cared about him so much on either side. He usually pressed pretty close to Moonshine, since she’s so casual about physical contact, whereas Hardwon pretends to be more blasé in that department. 

The night following Gemma’s death was… a  _ rough  _ one, to say the least. Hardwon wasn’t quite as silent and secretive about his emotions as he usually is, but he did try to be strong. Whether it was for himself or his friends, no one could be sure. 

When he climbed into bed, exhausted and drained from his nightmarishly heartbreaking day, he suddenly found himself in the center of the trio, in Bev’s usual spot. He turned to Beverly to ask, but stopped as a pair of arms wrapped around his torso, and Bev pressed his nose into Hardwon’s shoulder blade. Moonshine came up on his other side and wrapped herself around him like a security blanket, tucking her friend’s head into her neck. She gave him a gentle, motherly kiss on the forehead and nestled up to him protectively. Hardwon… wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t used to being doted on and being shown just pure, innocent love like this, and he wasn’t entirely sure he liked it. Electricity crackled under his skin, lighting up wherever he was touched. This was new, a feeling that was not at all sexual or even romantic and it was beginning to stress him out. He tensed. Moonshine must have noticed, because she started, very delicately, to pet his hair. Becoming a little concerned that he was uncomfortable, she mumbled a soft “S’this okay, Hardwon? You good?” 

The human relaxed just a bit more, took a deep breath. He nodded almost imperceptibly as he exhaled a sigh. It came out kind of raspy, and he choked on a quiet sob as he let it go. Fuck, he hadn’t meant to do that - It was all so much. He was so,  _ so, tired,  _ and the only girl he’d ever loved or ever COULD love was dead, and if only he’d rolled a better perception check maybe she’d still be here, and here are his two best friends in the  _ whole world _ , his  _ family, _ holding him to make sure he doesn’t feel alone, even though he doesn’t deserve this in the slightest and they shouldn’t be wasting their time trying to make him feel better because they have better things to be doing than taking care of  _ such a- _

Bev is clutching him tighter, and he realizes that he’s breathing fast, and he feels Moonshine delicately wiping something wet away from his face.  _ Tears.  _ He hadn’t meant to do that… he hadn’t meant to start  _ crying _ . No one should see him like this, but… here they are, beside him even now. Even when it seems like things suck more than would seem possible. 

His breath is still raspy and shaking, as he half-heartedly attempts to hold back tears. Every time he chokes back a sob, he feels Beverly’s grip on him tighten, and Moonshine’s fingers continue to trace patterns over his skin. This kindness only makes him want to cry more, but… maybe that’s okay. Maybe that’s what he needs. For the first time, maybe ever, Hardwon realizes that no one here will punish him for crying. These are the two people he trusts most in this world, and if he wants to cry, they’ll be here to support him. 

Maybe this is what family feels like. 

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't my favorite thing I've ever written, but here, take it. There needs to be more NADDPOD fan-content out in the world, and this one ain't half bad. Feedback is appreciated!


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